To Believe or Not to Believe: Part I

The only thing we Romans don't have a god for is premature ejaculation. But I hear that's coming quickly.--- Comicus

Religious faith, as a rule, requires a degree of irrationality. Faith is by definition a belief that cannot be proven with mere facts. In light of recent events, however, I have come to believe that some faiths are more irrational then others. Here are a few examples:

Scientology- People who actually follow Scientology should be embarrassed. Rather then actually describe their beliefs for you, I’ll let L. Ron Hubbard do it for me. Here is a snippet of his writing:
“The head of the Galactic Confederation (76 planets around larger stars visible from here) solved overpopulation (250 billion or so per planet -- 178 billion on average) by mass implanting. He caused people to be brought to Teegeeack (Earth) and put an H Bomb on the principal volcanoes (Incident 2) and then the Pacific area ones were taken in boxes to Hawaii and the Atlantic Area ones to Las Palmas and there "packaged." His name was Xenu. He used renegades.”
…..okeedokee there Tiger. I think we can move on now.

Hinduism- I normally have a lot of respect for polytheistic views. Maybe it’s because I think gods that have specialized powers are cool, or maybe I just respect beliefs that attribute human-like traits to their “Higher Powers.” Relating to Zeus’ marital troubles is much easier then relating to a God who sacrifices his own son. As a Christian, I have a ton of respect for Jesus. But I still ask myself, if god is omnipotent why did he undergo crucifiction in order to forgive our sins? Why didn't he just wave his hand and fogive us? seems a lot less painful.

But Hindus takes their polytheism little to far. First of all they venerate cows. Having owned cows before, I can’t see anything sacred about them. What do they do that is so holy? Is it their ability to chew cud or their ability to poop? In either case, not very omnipotent. The kicker though is their belief in reincarnation and Nirvana. Humans are forced to relive their lives until they finally get it right, and their reward is to ascend into….Nothingness. Think Social Security on a cosmic level. Although I have nothing against "nothingness" it isn't much of a payoff if you ask me. I’m holding out for a little more…like eternal bliss…or 40 virgins.

Satan Worship- Nothingness is not much of a reward in my opinion; but reigning in hell with Satan is not an improvement. I wouldn’t give these people such a hard time, except for the commonly known fact that Satan loses. Read the last book in the bible. It doesn’t go well for Satan; he gets thrown into a pit for eternity. These guys are the LA Clippers fans of religion. You have to admire their nuts, but not very rational. You also have to question the intelligence of someone who puts their faith in a "god" who obviously doesn't care about them. If what we know about Satan is true, then he is not the type of guy that keeps his word, or sticks his neck out for the underlings. If you are going to pray to someone, pray to someone that is actually reliable. Someone who wont sell you out, or betray you to eternal dammnation the minute it suits them.

Next: Part II- Rastafarianism, Any Religion That Outlaws Pork, and Atheism