The Truth about Cats and Dogs

“I want to tell you something and listen up because I really mean this. There is nothing on this earth sexier than a woman you have to salute in the morning. Promote'em all I say, because if you haven't received a blowjob from a superior officer, well, you're just letting the best in life pass you by. Of course, my problem is I'm a colonel. So I'll have to keep taking cold showers till they elect some gal president.” – Col. Jessup

This may not be the most politically correct thing to say, but what the hell, men and women are different. We are very different. In fact we don’t have all that much in common. Anatomy notwithstanding, we think differently. We have different hormones running through our blood. We even mature at different speeds; that is to say, woman mature and men pretend to mature because they think it will help them get laid.

In light of the Atlanta courthouse shooting, and the furor over comments made by Harvard President Lawrence H. Summers, I think we should attempt to apply some common sense to the discussion of what exactly our differences are. Of course, when making sweeping statements regarding the qualities of an entire gender, there are numerous exceptions. Not all men are taller then women (if you consider WNBA stars women), but I think we can all agree that men (as a gender) are taller then women.

This past Friday, an accused rapist was able to overpower a female officer on the 8th floor of the Fulton County Courthouse. That man went on to murder 7 people. My question is who thought it would be a good idea to guard this man with a female officer? Despite what Martha Burke says, women aren’t physically capable of performing this duty as well as men. This is biology. So the ACLU says lets issue them a gun and give them the responsibility of protecting us against the Brian Nichols of the world. This isn’t fair to anybody. I’m not saying women can’t be good cops. Any man that has been interrogated by his girlfriend will tell you, they’re naturals. A suspicious woman will get you to admit to killing Jimmy Hoffa if she has enough time. I just question their ability to disarm criminals in the line of fire. Statistics show that female officers draw their gun much more frequently then men. The answer why is obvious. Women aren’t as physically strong as men.

Last month, Larry Summers was almost forced to resign because he said there may be some innate differences in the way men and women think. Again you would think that everyone who has ever been in a relationship would nod their heads in agreement. Nope. MIT biology professor Nancy Hopkins, told reporters that she "I just couldn't breathe, because this kind of bias makes me physically ill," and that she "felt I was going to be sick," that "my heart was pounding and my breath was shallow." In an effort to dispel the belief that women are too emotional to be rational she fled the room because, "I would've either blacked out or thrown up." At least she didn’t start crying.

It’s not that I think men are smarter then women, in fact it’s quite the opposite. I think women are much more “intelligent” then men. Of the people who will receive bachelor’s degrees in America this year, 57% will be female. Of those who will receive their MA, 59% will be female. Doctorates? Same story. 61%. Women are just plain smarter, especially when it comes to “emotional intelligence.”

Personal experience confirms this fact. Although I have scored well above average on standard “IQ” tests; I was not so lucky with the “Emotional Intelligence Quotient” test (or “EIQ” test). The professor who administered it deemed me “emotionally stunted”, and “functionally retarded.” She reported that I scored in the 20th percentile among all test takers, but only in the 40th percentile among men. The fact that she was ugly and had a fat ass could not erase the reality that women are much more intelligent when it comes to understanding and processing emotions.

Feminists argue that all of these differences are due to socialization. Basically, that if we didn’t live in a male-dominated society that encouraged women to remain bare-foot and pregnant, all of these difference would disappear. Although socialization no doubt affects gender roles, 40 years of feminist thought cannot erase 40,000 years of evolution.

Back in the good ole’ days when men were appreciated for their role in society, and a large cave was considered plush living, humanity was still subject to the maxim, “survival of the fittest.” Mind you, this was before soup kitchens and social security and the many other advances we take for granted today. If a man wanted to remain in the gene pool he had to be big and strong, and most importantly, he had to be aggressive. Although metrosexuals cut a dashing figure in bear skins, they were not as successful as the alpha male in “bringing home the wooly mammoth.” These were the traits that were passed on to each succeeding generation.

The ability to philosophize about the nature of existence, and the talent to scribble a good buffalo on a cave wall were not as advantageous. The types of intelligence that aided these men were more concrete, like the ability to design and construct a good tent, or in modern day equivalent; engineering. To be a successful caveman, it helped to be proficient in the so called “hard sciences.”

This was not so for women. Their primary duty was to take care of children. Hence, understanding emotions were useful. And should a woman of this era be caught in a life or death situation, it is likely that her only hope was to use her wits (or show her tits). Thus, knowledge of “hard sciences” for these women took a back seat to “social sciences.” The ability to express ones-self was a feminine trait. And if you have ever asked a woman about her day, you will realize that it still is.

All of this is not to say that women should not be cops, or soldiers for that matter. They should be. All that I would ask is those who are given these responsibilities, be subject to the same physical requirements as men. If I found myself injured in a foxhole with a female soldier, she had better be able to carry my ass back to safety. And I am not saying that women cannot be good at math. There is no doubt that there are thousands of women who are. But the fact that women have not dominated this field in the same manner they have in other fields of study is not proof of discrimination.

Today, the notion that women are of inferior intellect then men is laughable. But there is no doubt that we differ physically, emotionally, and intellectually. Let’s be honest about those innate differences, and iron my shirt while you’re at it.